angevon

Author's notes: See this page for rating information and the chapter index.

Summary: The second term of school brings Nanako face-to-face with several things she'd rather avoid.

[8/27: Saturday]

Another rainy day. To while away her anxiety over the fact that the Midnight Channel might appear tonight because of it, Nanako decided to keep herself busy by working at the gas station.

Though 'busy' wasn't quite the right word considering how quiet the place always was during the rain. The convenience store manager never seemed to care either way. He seemed to be an easy-going guy, maybe a little absent-minded. She could probably trick him into paying her twice for one shift if she wanted to. Of course she wouldn't take advantage of an old guy like that. She needed money, but that, to her rather corrupt moral compass, was Wrong with a capital W.

She didn't find Izaya by the gas pumps, so she went to the garage in the back. No one was there, and there wasn't a vehicle in the bay, either, but the garage door was open.

She wandered in, but it was more than a little unsettling to be alone in the garage, so she turned to leave and almost ran right into the guy she'd been looking for.

"Going somewhere?" Izaya said, wearing his creepy grin. There was too much teeth in it, or something that made it seem so off. She could never pinpoint the exact problem.

"Ha. Ha. You should know better than to sneak up on people."

"But your reaction is so priceless, Nanako."

Maybe it was, from his perspective. Nanako couldn't help but smile in return.

They stood there for a moment, Nanako sheltered by the garage and Izaya just outside of it so that the rain was hitting him.

"So, uh, what do you do when there's nothing to do?" she asked him.

"There is always something to do," he answered, trying to look enigmatic in his response. He had nothing on Igor, though.

Nanako paused for a moment, thinking, and then ventured, "What's your favorite part of this job?"

Izaya took some time to consider it. "Meeting new people," he said with a smirk.

Yeah, right. She could count the number of people she'd seen him interact with on one hand. And that was including herself!

"Met anyone interesting lately?" she asked innocently to call him out on that.

He began to chuckle. "Well, the most interesting person might be—" He paused as the sound of a vehicle's horn sounded out over the rain. "Ah, seems we've work to do."

"I'll get it," Nanako said, and she hustled past him, through the rain, and back to the gas station's awning.

Waiting in the bay was a moving truck. It wasn't marked with any sort of company logo, which made her instantly suspicious, but she recognized the man who came out of it: Taro Namatame. He was wearing a green jumpsuit and a green hat, also unadorned by any company logo. His family business must only get its business by word of mouth.

"I need a fill up, please..." he mumbled.

Nanako got right to it, annoyed that the truck didn't have any windows; she couldn't spy what was in the back! She didn't think this guy was the killer—according to Saki, Namatame was really broken over Mayumi Yamano's death. He often visited the liquor store and the Shiroku pub to drown his sorrows away. It wouldn't make sense for him to be so depressed if he'd killed her.

Unless maybe he regretted it... but then why continue with the kidnappings?

"You're all wet," Namatame suddenly observed, taking Nanako out of her thoughts.

She shrugged. "Comes with the territory, y'know?"

The man scrounged in his truck's cabin and produced the umbrella that she'd given him some time ago. She'd forgotten she'd even done that. He held it out to her, a shy smile on his face. "I don't... need this."

Neither do I, she thought to herself, but he looked so happy to give it to her that she accepted.

Maybe Izaya could use it.

That sudden thought made her snort all of a sudden. Namatame mistook it for a sneeze and told her to take care of herself.

"Thanks," she said, "you too!"

She waved as the truck pulled away and into the central shopping district's main street, feeling happy somehow.

A moment later, the hairs on the back of her neck rose; she felt like she was being watched. Yeah, Izaya was hiding behind the far gas pump. Well, he wasn't really hiding, per se, but somehow she got that impression anyway. He might've been watching the whole time she'd dealt with that customer.

"You shoulda offered him a lube job," Nanako chided, approaching his gas pump. "Get the shop more business on such a quiet day."

"This is the only gas station in town," Izaya pointed out. "All the business available belongs to it. If he needs further service, he'll come back at another date."

"You need to work on your sales pitch," she said. "Focus on the here and now!"

She handed the umbrella out to him and he didn't even bother to acknowledge its existence.

She smirked right back at him, since that was exactly what she'd expected him to do, and rested the umbrella against the nearby gas pump. Izaya was rather predictable regarding some things, wasn't he?

They stood together for a bit. There was a comfortable silence as they listened to the patter of rain on the awning.

"You must like this job," she eventually remarked. "You get to see the sky every day." Well, sometimes, if the clouds weren't in the way.

"I'd enjoy it more without the awning," he replied. Although his delivery had been deadpan, his smile signaled the humor of his comment.

"You can go out into the rain right now," she suggested. "I won't judge you."

Izaya's eyes were half-closed. "What would make you judge me?"

She opened her mouth to answer but abruptly cut herself off. 'If you were a bad person,' she had almost said, but then he'd make her define what a 'bad person' was. The world wasn't built of absolutes like that. Even 'good' people did bad things.

"What if I told you..." Izaya volunteered, but then he stopped with an uncertain look on his face. It was unusual for him, so Nanako jumped right on it.

"What if you told me what?"

Now he just looked annoyed.

"Look, I just want to know more about you, Izaya-san," she told him. "You don't have to get cryptic or anything. What do you do for fun, besides hang out in the rain?"

"My favorite hobby is... people watching," Izaya announced firmly.

Nanako stared at Izaya for a long moment. She could see herself under the awning, watching as people went about their lives in the rain, and in that moment, she understood the kind of person Izaya was, and smiled.

"You seem surprised," Izaya said with a dry chuckle. "Did you expect anything else?"

"I do it myself sometimes!" she said. "There's no way I could judge you for that."

"Oh?" He sounded interested now. "When did you last do it, and what did you see?"

"W-well..." she stalled. She hadn't consciously done it since that one time with Kanji-kun back in Okina. Unless watching Kanji and that boy with glasses during the festival while they were at the fishing booth counted. She decided it did. "Last week. I think I saw young love."

Young love, yes. She felt her face warm up, which was surprising to her, but really she was just so happy for Kanji. Even from the distance, she'd seen their interactions. The way the glasses boy had smiled when Kanji leaned over his shoulder to help him catch the fish. The confident way in which Kanji had taken the dessert from the other boy's mouth. The smiles on both of their faces the whole time they'd been together.

She wished she'd been able to see more.

"I miss it," she said. "I miss being able to do things I used to enjoy like that."

"What's stopping you?" Izaya asked.

She scoffed. What wasn't stopping her?

Ever since she'd stepped foot in Inaba, her life had changed. As if being so far away from her family and friends in Tokyo wasn't enough, the murders had started, and she'd thrown herself headfirst into the case until nothing else really mattered. All of her time and energy had been spent training or earning money to prepare themselves for what they'd face in the TV World. And that wasn't even considering the whole 'social links' aspect—even her friendships were primarily for the case!

When Mr. Morooka died, she'd reinvented herself to cope. And then her coping had led to...

She'd even lost Loveline after that.

And every night she worried about the Midnight Channel. Was Rise even going to be safe wherever Naoto had sent her?

She had no time for hobbies, for the simple things in life anymore. She was losing herself to this case.

"Sometimes," she said quietly, "sometimes I only feel like myself around my little cousin..."

Because Yu was... he was special to her, and she didn't mind saying that. He was too young to go through everything he'd been through, but it had definitely brought forth a protective instinct in her.

"But s-sometimes," she continued. "I wonder if what I'm showing him is the real me, or just a mask that I wear to keep him from worrying."

The real me... what did she mean by that? She'd never had to face her Shadow, unlike her friends.

"If the mask cracks, will he see what I've become," she wondered, "or what I was before coming here?"

It was a question worthy of Mr. Morooka, she thought miserably.

"If you only feel yourself around your cousin," Izaya said, "then what do you feel when you're around me?"

"Peaceful," she answered, almost instinctively. "Like this soft rain."

Izaya smiled.

[8/28: Sunday]

Nanako stared at her phone's calendar function for over a minute when she realized that September was just a few days away. This meant school was just a few days away.

She hadn't done any of her summer homework!

With a sigh, she took out her books that were collecting dust from lack of use and brought them downstairs to the tea table in the living room. This was going to be her home for the next few days, so she brought down a nice, comfy pillow and her phone's charger, and then went to work.

When Yu came wandering out of his room, it occurred to her that he should have summer homework too. They could work on it together!

"Yu-chan!" she said, grinning excitedly. "Bring out your homework!"

He rubbed his sleep-tired eyes. "But big sis... I finished it already."

Her heart plummeted. How and when...? She sighed heavily. She should've known her cousin would be so responsible. He'd probably finished it all the first day of vacation!

"O-oh," Yu said, waking up a little. "B-but there's still this!"

He hustled to his room and came back with a thin stack of papers. He held them out to her and she took them.

There was a sticky note attached to the front. It was written in very sloppy handwriting, but in a way that took care to still be readable.

'Use these if your big sis makes a pouty face.'

A flat expression came across Nanako's features. Naoto was such a sly dog...!

"All right, then," she said briskly as she set the stack down on the tea table. "Let's get this done!"

So excited to get to work, she almost forgot to watch Tanaka's Amazing Commodities.

Today he was selling a thief knife. It made her think—not for the last time—of Yosuke. If he was still on the team, she'd buy it just for him.

As she watched Tanaka demo the blade, she wondered if she could use it. It'd be nice to have something available if something happened to her naginata. A backup weapon. This knife seemed small enough to hide on her person...

She went ahead and ordered it.

[8/29: Monday]

Nanako wasn't looking forward to another day of homework. She'd asked Saki if she would like to work with her, but Saki had pointed out—and rightfully so—that her presence would be too distracting and they'd likely get no work done.

Nanako then decided to ask the rest of the DEATH Squad if they'd like to get together to work on it, but Yukiko was such an overachiever that she'd already finished it, and knowing her relationship with Chie, Nanako assumed Chie's was finished too.

That left Kanji, so she sent him a text.

I'm sorry, Senpai, but I've already finished mine, he replied.

She glared at the text. When did Kanji become such a good student—ah.

Did your boyfriend help you? she texted back, a smirk on her face.

It took Kanji only seconds to respond.

That's right, Senpai.

Nanako's smirk turned into a grin. She totally had to talk to him about it.

But... not now, she realized with a sigh. She had to get this work done.

[8/31: Wednesday]

Nanako found her school uniform sitting on the table in her room. It was a complete set with a yellow scarf and a long skirt. Aunt Narukami must have bought her a new one.

She traced her fingers over the hems and patterns and buttons. She hadn't bothered to ask what had happened to the uniform she'd worn to the hospital. It had probably been torn beyond recognition. It was probably a good thing she hadn't seen it in that condition. It would bring back poor memories.

She held the skirt to her hips, admiring in a way how the skirt flowed all the way down to her ankles. There were some painful memories associated with it, yes, but looking at it now, she only remembered good things.

The bewildered stares at school the first time she wore it.

Yukiko saying she'd always wanted to try the long skirt.

Saki saying that she needed the change.

The disapproval that would surely be all over Mr. Morooka's face, were he alive, with a hint of worry in his eyes.

Nanako closed her eyes, and remembered the conversation she'd had with her mom over the phone when she'd been at the hospital.

"Honey, I had my hair dyed pink for years!" Chisato said with a merry voice. "I'm okay with a long skirt."

Nanako sighed in exasperation.

"Mom, you don't understand," she said. "Those clothes were... are... me, a me that was always there, but that I tried to hide and ignore. I had the strength to do so many things, and while a lot of them were stupid things I regret, some... some, I don't."

"Are you saying you want to be a delinquent?" her mom asked in a neutral tone. Nanako couldn't read her at all.

"I might already be one," she admitted.

"Are you going to get in trouble?"

"...Yes."

"Honey—" she started, but Nanako cut her off.

"I know what you want to say, Mom, but..." Nanako took a deep breath. "I don't think it's a phase. Remember how we talked about me, way before... w-way before everything h-happened?"

Damn it, why couldn't she think about him without tearing up? Why couldn't she remember the good times she spent with him, rather than regretting that he wasn't around anymore?

"About the boys in summer clothes?" her mom continued. That brought back one good memory, at least.

"And the girls, yes!" she said, and her mom laughed over the line. "I talked to someone else too, that day," she continued, "a friend."

A friend? Was that what Izaya was to her? Yeah, Nanako supposed he was.

"I came to realize that despite my brave face, I was afraid of a lot of things, about myself..."

"Everyone is, honey."

"...but I'm not anymore, Mom! I don't care, I really don't care, what anyone thinks of me. I don't want to screw up and hurt someone dear to me, but for the most part, fuck what everyone thinks! Fuck the people on the street! Fuck the teachers! Fuck the other students!"

"You mean that literally, or figuratively? Depending on the answer, I really will get worried."

"Mommmmmmm...!"

Chisato laughed some more, but when she next spoke, her voice was completely serious. "I think I understand, but what about those people that you hold so dear that you don't want to smash their skulls in? What about what they think? Are you okay with worrying them?"

"No," Nanako admitted, "but Mom, you just told me the answer yourself. You understand, right? And so did Aunt Narukami, so did Yu-kun, so did Saki-senpai and Kanji-kun, and Yukiko. Everyone who matters understands."

"Not everyone, honey. You know that as well as I do."

Nanako thought of Yosuke, and of how their relationship seemed irreparable now, but she couldn't show that weakness to her mother... could she?

"Well, I'll make them understand!" she vowed instead.

"As long as it doesn't involve smashing people's heads or fucking them, if you will excuse my French."

"Well, it miiiiight involve fucking them."

"Nanako!" her mother chided.

"See, got you!"

Nanako expected another laugh, but her mother just sighed. As always, she was on point with her worries. "I wish you would understand," Chisato continued, "that although I want to give you freedom, I am starting to worry what you're doing with it. You nearly died last night, Nanako."

"That was a mistake," Nanako said firmly, "and a very tough lesson. It won't happen again."

There was a pause as her mother seemed to consider her words.

"I trust you, honey," she finally said, "even in this. I won't say anything else about this one choice of yours. I do have a request, though."

"W-What is it?" Nanako stammered, swallowing hard.

"Send me pics?"

Nanako snickered to herself at the memory. It hadn't been that funny at the time, considering the circumstances, but now she could appreciate it.

She was going to return to school tomorrow, and... wear the long skirt again. There was no going back now.

Thinking of her conversation with Mom, though, reminded her that there was no time left to stall. The summer was over now, and she had to call her father. She'd promised, and promises... were important.

She scrolled to his entry in her contact list, took a deep breath, and pressed the dial key.

"Nanako?"

Just the faint worry in his voice made Nanako want to sniffle. "Dad," she began, and stopped.

"Nanako," her dad repeated. "I thought you'd never call. But your aunt said you were doing all right."

She swallowed before speaking. "Yeah, Dad. School starts again tomorrow, and I think... I think I'm ready for it."

"That's good to hear... Did you get your homework done?"

"Yeah..." she said in a guilty tone that probably betrayed how she'd finished it all just yesterday.

"Chisato showed me a picture of your new skirt."

Nanako's breath caught, because explaining it to him would be just so difficult.

"It suits you," he continued. "But don't bother the local police."

"A-ah... I won't," she promised. "Well... maybe just Adachi-san," she added in an attempt to take back the conversation.

"Adachi-san," Dojima mused. "I remember him. You know him, Nanako? How is he doing? And my sister?"

Nanako emitted a tiny gasp. "You know about him and Auntie?"

"What?" Dojima demanded. "What about him and Ryoko?"

Nanako laughed, and all the tension she'd felt from the conversation suddenly evaporated. "Dad! You should ask her yourself!"

His response was a grunt. Then, "How's your girlfriend?"

"Oh... We're doing great, Dad! Thanks for asking." Nanako paused for a moment, thinking of something Saki had said. "She likes you, by the way."

"Glad to hear it," Dojima answered in a serious tone. "Your friends over here are worrying about you. You haven't been, what did they say...? Sending them your 'phony weekly emails.'"

"Yeah, I know. Maybe I'll send one later. Oh, but please warn me if they get to the point where they're gonna make a trip out here to see me!"

"Too late for that, honey. They've already tried shaking me up for your current address."

Nanako imagined all of her Tokyo friends banding together to bully her father. It was all too easy. And hilarious. "Oh my god, Dad, I'm so sorry!"

"I'm trained for it."

He said it so nonchalantly that she had to laugh, and then he was chuckling too. She loved the sound.

"Hey, Dad...?" she said, getting serious again.

"Yes, honey?"

"I'll be careful. I promise."

She didn't explain further what she meant, and there was a moment of silence. Then, "Your aunt is going to keep me informed."

"I wouldn't have it any other way," she told him, smiling to herself.

After ending the call, she heaved a heavy sigh. As with her dad, she'd been putting off contacting her Tokyo friends for far too long. They'd just seemed so far away, so remote from the current situation that—no, no more excuses.

She flipped her phone back open and began typing.

[9/1: Thursday]

It was surreal to find Naoto downstairs in a Yasogami uniform. A boy's uniform, of course, complete with the jacket. Nanako wondered where it had come from, but possibly the detective had obtained it when Aunt Narukami got the new skirt for Nanako.

And then Nanako wondered something else entirely. 'A boy's uniform, of course,' she'd thought to herself, but the 'of course' seemed incongruous when she continued to think of her friend as a woman.

"Shirogane-san," Nanako said haltingly. "I know it's too early for heavy questions, but..."

Naoto was helping Yu whisk miso in a bowl. "Yes, Nanako-san?" Naoto didn't look up.

"Y-you know how I said that you can be a girl and a prince, or even a boy and a prince? ...Or any combination?"

"Yes?" Naoto poured a small amount of hot water into the bowl and continued whisking. Yu was standing on his stepstool right between the detective's arms and watching intently.

"Well, ever since I found out you were female, I began to think of you as a woman. And, even though I told you that you can be anything... I've continued to think of you as a girl."

Naoto tapped the whisk on the bowl's edge to dry it off some, then set it down on the counter and looked down at Yu, who looked back up in return.

"But you're wearing the boy's uniform," Nanako went on, "and it looks so natural on you, and heck, Yu-chan calls you 'big bro,' and... You've never corrected him or anything."

And Yu had known Naoto was a woman from almost the start, but he'd come up with the nickname all on his own, probably from observing the detective... or maybe from his own intuition.

"What I'm trying to say is," Nanako went on. "What would you like me to think of you as? A boy, or a girl, or... well, anything in between is okay, too! I want to start getting my thoughts to line up right with you."

Naoto carefully poured the miso into a pot of simmering water and stirred it while looking at an arbitrary point in space, apparently thinking. The soup was finished cooking before there was finally a reply. "For now... as a boy."

The words were very quiet, but Nanako heard them, and she let out the breath she'd been holding during the wait. "All right," Nanako said.

And that was that.

Or maybe it wasn't. The smile on Naoto's face when he turned his head in her direction wasn't exactly a happy one. "I wish there wasn't so much importance put behind such a thing."

"Tell me about it," Nanako said.

Her comment was meant to be rhetorical, but Naoto said, "Maybe later," and his smile grew warmer. Nanako couldn't help it—she gave him a hug, and to her surprise, he hugged her back.

And then, of course, Yu had to get in on the hugging action, and it was a hug-fest all around.

It was a bright and sunny day outside, contrasting greatly with how rainy the first day of school had been back in April. Though, Nanako thought, looking up at the clear sky, she might prefer it if it was raining. Just a soft little drizzle would be perfect.

The way Yu was smiling up at Nanako while they walked hand-in-hand on the way to school, well, that was completely different, too! She hadn't even said or done anything to cheer him up. He was happy all on his own.

And Naoto was also here, and, you know, he seemed happy, too! Maybe from the conversation they had this morning, or maybe he was looking forward to his first day of school too.

Nanako hoped it was a good sign for the new term.

They reached the intersection where Yu had to part from them. "All right, Yu-chan!" Nanako said. She bent down so that she could talk to him on his level, not caring how it made her skirt drag on the ground. She patted his head. "Have a good day, okay? Give everyone some cookies, and make sure to save a few for Yuuta-chan too, all right?"

"I will," the little boy promised. He looked at Naoto and waved. "Big bro... H-have fun..."

Naoto nodded with a determined smile. "I'm sure it will be an interesting day."

"B-bye!"

Together Nanako and Naoto watched Yu head off towards his school, and then they went on their own way.

"You ready for your first day?" Nanako asked Naoto conversationally. A few other students were walking near them now, also heading to Yasogami.

"It has been some time since I've attended classes," Naoto admitted. "When we arrive, I'll need to find the faculty office."

"I can show you," Nanako offered. "Hope your homeroom teacher is a good one, like Ms. Sofue or someone. At least it can't be Ms. Kashiwagi..."

Nor could it be Mr. Morooka, she thought with a mental sigh.

"Those names mean little to me right now," Naoto said, "but I'm sure I'll understand your meaning soon enough."

"Too bad you aren't a second year," Nanako murmured.

"I should be in the same class as Kanji-kun," Naoto said. "Kujikawa-san would be there too, if she wasn't already sent away to safety."

"Good, you and Kanji-kun can be study buddies. Oh, see if you can get more info on the boy he's been seeing. Unobtrusively, of course!"

Naoto looked amused at that. "Do I sense a mystery...?"

After guiding Naoto to the faculty office, Nanako made her way to the second floor and to her classroom. It was already half-filled. Chie and Yukiko weren't there yet.

But Yosuke was. He had his head down on the desk and his headphones on, some scratchy-sounding song playing a little too loudly.

She didn't give him a second thought when she sat down.

In the time before class started, Nanako listened to some of the other students talk.

"Did you hear? Risette is supposed to be at our school!"

"No way!"

"Dude, I want her to autograph my arm!"

"Your arm or your butt?" Nanako interrupted.

The boy who wanted the autograph stared at her for a moment, and then grinned. "Only if Risette herself tattooed it!" he declared.

"As if!" the boy's friend answered.

As they laughed, Nanako's mind was still focus on butts, and in fact zeroed in on a particular student's as he walked up to the chalk board and checked whether there were enough supplies for the teacher, even though the teacher wasn't in the room yet. This student was the male class representative for Classroom 2-2, and Nanako's eyes widened when she recognized those glasses—it was Kanji's boyfriend!

Hah, she wouldn't need Naoto's help at all to learn more about him!

When the boy walked down the aisle between desks, she totally gave him a thumbs up and a wink. He didn't seem to know what to make of that, opting instead to ignore her and continue on his way to his seat in the back of the room.

She shamelessly checked him out when he passed by her desk. One thing was certain: his butt rated higher than Yosuke's.

She began to daydream about taking him to the TV World bathhouse. Of course they couldn't do that, but hey, he already had glasses...!

"Wh-what's got you so excited, Nanako?"

Nanako blinked out of her steamy reverie to find Chie taking her seat at the desk right next to her.

"Or do I want to know?" Chie finished.

To answer, Nanako slowly looked Chie up and down. Mmm, yes, the summer school uniform still did things to her.

She was definitely going to have to hang out with Saki this afternoon! Heh heh.

Class began soon after that, giving Nanako no opportunity to leer at any of her fellow classmates. The teachers didn't waste any time at all, lecturing in full force in every class. Well, minus Mrs. Nakayama who complained mostly that her husband hadn't taken her anywhere during the break.

During English class, Mr. Kondo taught them new vocabulary words. Since it was nearing lunchtime, he tried to retain everyone's attention—for of course by then it was wavering—by directing the subject to favorite foods.

"Speaking of meat," Mr. Kondo said, "Well, I know Satonaka is paying attention now, eh?"

He laughed at his own joke, and Chie shifted in the seat next to Nanako for being made fun of like that. Nanako nudged her in support and in fact began to write her a note that said, 'I could use a beef bowl.' She put a winky face at the end, remembering how she and Saki had joked about that. They were both so corrupt!

She passed it to Chie while Mr. Kondo was still talking. Soon enough she'd have Chie corrupted too.

"That's why I'll call on Hanamura instead!" Mr. Kondo announced. "What kind of meat is venison?"

Behind her, Nanako heard Yosuke reluctantly – by his sigh – stand up from his seat to answer the question.

"Uh..." Yosuke stalled.

She wondered if he knew the answer. Even though she'd only half paid attention, she'd heard it when Mr. Kondo explained it a few minutes ago, but Mr. Kondo was rather chatty and he'd added so much other trivia that it was easy to miss.

She also wondered if she should she help Yosuke out by whispering the answer. She didn't want him to feel indebted to her in any way, or to think that she was trying to apologize to him somehow. They weren't friends anymore. He was just another classmate now.

That thought had her nibbling her lower lip with an uncertain grimace. It was something she was just going to have to get used to.

But... she could still help. She opened her mouth—

"All kinds of meat," Yosuke said suddenly. "Hunted stuff, I mean."

Oh.

When lunchtime came, the glasses-wearing male class representative gave the classroom a cursory glance before he sneaked out the back door.

Nanako couldn't help it. She got up and followed him. Chie gave her a look that asked if she should follow, but Nanako just waved her off. She had prey to stalk.

Yep, the boy was totally heading to the farthest stairwell and downstairs to the first years' floor. She took out her phone and pretended she was texting with it, but she needn't have bothered trying to come up with a cover. He never looked behind him.

And hell yes, there was Kanji waiting for him on the stairwell's mid-level. The two boyfriends were going to have lunch together right there on the stairs.

Nanako turned away with a grin. She didn't need to eavesdrop. Even if she really kinda wanted to...!

She wasn't even back at her classroom yet when she suddenly got a text message on her phone.

KANJI-KUN & BOY CURRENTLY EATING. DISH APPEARS TO BE FISH CAKES FURNISHED BY BOY.

Nanako couldn't help it. She laughed out loud. Naoto must have followed Kanji out of his classroom and was observing them from the first floor.

Another text soon followed.

THIS IS MOST FASCINATING.

Isn't it? Nanako thought to herself, the grin on her face impossible to remove for the entirety of lunch.

Thoughts of that young love kept Nanako's mood buoyant for the rest of the school day, at least until class let out: she was assigned cleaning duty.

With Yosuke.

And another couple of kids too, but really? She sighed and just accepted that fate wanted her to suffer. It was going to be the most awkward thing ever.

"Look," Yosuke said, the first words he'd said to her in over a month. "I'll sweep if you clean off the chalkboard."

He wasn't looking at her. She didn't say a word, just went to work. The two other kids were assigned to clean out the classroom's trash cans and wipe down the desks with some antibacterial wipes.

They were hard at work when Kanji's boyfriend came in the room and stood in the doorway. "Nanako-kun?" he said.

"Yeah?" she answered casually, pretending not to notice how Yosuke was pretending not to care about this interruption. The other two students weren't pretending at all: they stopped their work entirely to watch.

"Ms. Sofue wants to see you in the faculty office. You should go now."

Nanako glanced at her partially-cleaned chalkboard and then at the others present. Yosuke was still sweeping.

"I'll finish up here," the guy in glasses said. "It's my responsibility as the class representative."

Nanako smiled despite herself. What a sweet boy Kanji had found!

On her way downstairs, Nanako reflected on how she had no idea what the history teacher wanted to talk to her about. Ms. Sofue was probably the most normal teacher in the school, even with her Egyptian headdress. Maybe it was about Nanako's long skirt? She doubted it—the woman would've said something a long time ago. And it wasn't violating dress code or anything, no matter what Ms. Kashiwagi claimed.

It could be about grades, though. Nanako wasn't the best at history. Hopefully she wasn't about to get a lecture about studying!

Nanako pushed open the door to the faculty office to find Ms. Sofue and another teacher she didn't know at Mr. Morooka's desk.

She froze at the sight.

They were cleaning his desk out.

"Ah, Nanako," Ms. Sofue said upon seeing her. "We found this. I thought you would like to have it."

The teacher picked up a paper that had been set aside on the desk and handed it to Nanako, whose eyes were too fixed on the half-empty desk to give it much notice.

Finally she tore herself away from the sight and moved out of the faculty office. She walked down the hall a few steps in a daze before finally focusing her eyes on the paper in her hand.

And she stopped abruptly and stared. It was the haiku essay she'd turned in so long ago.

At the top of the page, in Mr. Morooka's sloppy handwriting and red pen:

You're always fighting
Your meaningless existence
...Keep up the good work

It was a haiku. He'd written her a haiku.

She clutched the paper in her trembling hands with so much strength that she crumpled it. Tears she didn't know she still had began to run down her face. She fell against the wall and slowly slid down against it until she was on the ground, curling her head between her legs and crying and crying and crying.

Far, far away Nanako heard the voice, the time stop voice. It was telling her—something, she couldn't hear. She looked up, just barely, from the floor, saw the wavering vision of someone in a blue pinstripe suit walking away from her...

Then she woke up.

Her eyes were just as bleary as they had been in the dream. She was in an unfamiliar room, but the walls were definitely Yasogami yellow, so she was still in the school.

Oh... this was the infirmary.

"Hey... You all right?"

Nanako turned her head and found Saki at her side. She couldn't manage to smile at her girlfriend.

Saki pulled her into a hug on the infirmary's bed. The older girl rubbed her back and said nothing, just waited as long as it might take for her to recover.

Nanako let Saki walk her home, although they walked in silence. When they arrived at the Narukami residence, Nanako invited her inside, for once having no lewd intentions in mind with the invitation. This might have been a good thing, because Aunt Narukami was relaxing at the kitchen table, apparently waiting for her. The woman wasn't alone: Naoto and Yu were also present.

And so was some Aiya takeout.

"Nanako-chan, are you hungry?" Aunt Narukami invited her to sit. "And Saki-chan, you're welcome to stay. Ah, let me get out another chair."

While Aunt Narukami was opening a closet, Saki pulled Nanako in close by her waist, giving her a small hug before settling her into a chair. "Please eat something," she whispered.

Nanako nodded and grabbed a pot sticker, thankful that her aunt knew her well enough by now to know she couldn't resist her favorite food item.

"Big sis... Are you... okay?" Yu asked, looking up at her with his soulful eyes.

"Not really," she answered. "Yu-chan..." She paused, not sure how she wanted to reassure him this time that she was going to be okay.

"The doctor called from school... But Saki-san said you were okay. That's why... Mama's home."

"Yes, they said you'd collapsed after school," Aunt Narukami informed them. She pulled another chair into the room and Saki took it from her. "But they weren't sure why."

Nanako let go of the crumpled paper in her hand. She'd been holding it so tightly this whole time that her fingers had little feeling left in them. She laid it out on the table and smoothed it out. "You know my homeroom teacher died, right? Well..."

Nanako went on to explain how Mr. Morooka had assigned her a paper because she'd fallen asleep in class. And she'd only just now got it back, and... it was like his last message to her, and she hadn't been ready for it in the least.

"I miss him so much," she confided. "I-I mean, I know he was an awful teacher some of the time—a lot of the time—but he didn't deserve..." She trailed off.

Aunt Narukami was smiling sadly at her in sympathy. "It's never easy."

Naoto was looking at her, too. Maybe the speech had explained at least some of her motivations regarding that dark and stormy night.

And Nanako remembered that everyone present at the table had been personally affected by someone's death. Aunt Narukami's words weren't just for her.

"Can we... go visit them?" Nanako asked quietly, hoping her aunt would know who else she meant.

"Yes..." Aunt Narukami answered. "Yes, of course."

[9/2: Friday]

Nanako wasn't very talkative on the way to school the next morning. Seeing Yu's Loveline umbrella didn't do anything for her. Even the idea of sharing an umbrella with Naoto didn't help. Apparently the detective had left his umbrella at the station on accident, but Nanako suspected he was just saying that so that he could offer to share and try and cheer her up. But Nanako just pulled out the extra umbrella she'd received from Namatame and handed it to him.

The morning passed with her simply going through the motions. When a teacher called on Chie, she couldn't really help because she had been zoning out, but fortunately Yukiko had her back.

Maybe the girlfriends were doing okay after all. The thought brought a temporary smile to her face.

When lunch came around, the rainstorm building up outside was the primary topic of conversation.

"This rain might last all night," Chie remarked, trying to share a significant look with both Yukiko and Nanako. They'd turned their desks together to eat lunch as a trio.

At a glance, it was definitely dark outside the windows, but midnight was still half a day away, so Nanako just shrugged. They'd been robbed of the Midnight Channel the last time it'd rained. It could easily happen again—though she would stay up for it, anyway.

Due to a lack of response, Chie began to chat with Yukiko about what she was having for lunch, and Nanako soon stopped paying attention, her mind elsewhere.

And then her phone began to buzz with a barrage of text messages.

TODAY'S LUNCH TONKATSU PROV. KANJI-KUN.

TAKING TURNS FEEDING EACH OTHER.

UPDATE: KANJI-KUN GAVE BOY SMALL GIFT. COULD NOT SEE WHAT.

BOY SEEMS ECSTATIC.

Although Nanako truly wanted to be amused by all this, she wasn't in the mood, so she powered down her phone after reminding Naoto not to neglect his own lunch, and then focused on her own.

The rain showed no signs of stopping when school let out, not that Nanako noticed. She didn't hear when Chie complained that her umbrella wouldn't be enough for it. When Nanako went downstairs, she didn't push her way through the crowd of students loitering at the shoe lockers, torn between their desire to leave school and their reluctance to brave the downpour. Instead she wandered down the hallway, her mind absent.

She ended up at the faculty office. The door was left open. Inside, a janitor wearing rubber gloves and an apron was scrubbing Mr. Morooka's desk with a sponge. The scent of industrial strength lemon cleaner came to her nostrils. The desk would be someone else's soon. Some new teacher would use it...

She couldn't handle it.

She tore down the hall, the pounding of her shoes against the floor as she ran louder than the rain. She turned into the practice building and didn't stop until she was in the band club room.

And there, the piano, her piano... It was still there despite the band club leader's threats.

It stood untouched, as if waiting for her.

She threw herself onto the stool in front of it, slammed open the fall board, and immediately began to pound out a fast-moving piece from Chopin on the keys.

As she played, the storm outside continued to rage on.

Unknown to her, the band club members had planned to meet today. They were gathered outside the room now, afraid to come in and disturb her furious playing.

Her hands ran along the keys, easily playing the song from memory. It wasn't perfect due the poor old piano's condition, but to her it was sweet release.

When the club room door opened, she paid it no attention. She was lost in the music now, playing with all of her soul.

But even in this state, she became aware of an acoustic guitar in the background trying desperately to accompany her.

Lightning struck close by, deafening everything in the wake of its thunder. She continue playing, heedless of the ringing in her ears left by it. The guitarist seemed distracted by the thunder, but rapidly caught on to the segment she was playing.

Nanako's fingers were beginning to sting from her speed and from lack of practice, but still she played on, and although not always in sync, the guitarist matched her.

Then she was at the finale. A quieter segment, and then... She pressed down hard on the keys, once, twice, three times—the abrupt ending to the composition.

After that, she leaned over the piano, exhausted and panting for her breath. Her blouse clung to her from the sweat pouring from her body.

The thunderstorm seemed to calm outside, at least for a moment.

She turned her head towards the guitarist.

The serene expression on Yosuke's face matched her own.

The rain quieted into a drizzle. Nanako and Yosuke had relocated to the Junes food court. They'd both paid for their own drinks and were now... sitting across from each other at the canopied table and not really even drinking them.

The most awkward of awkward silences ensued. She'd look at him, then he'd look away, and then he'd look at her, and she'd look away. Neither of them knew where to start.

But someone had to start, so eventually Nanako spoke up. "Yosuke... I'm tired of this."

"Of what?"

She waved a hand. "Of us, like this."

He grimaced and looked away again. His crossed arms seemed to be held tighter all of a sudden.

When he finally spoke, his voice was quiet. "...What made you do it, Nanako?" he asked. "Go out into the rain that night, into the TV World? I don't understand."

Nanako laughed bitterly but choked out a sob on accident. She leaned back in her chair and stared at the canopy above the table. "I'd like to punch you because you don't know," she croaked, "but truth be told, I don't know anymore either."

"Does it have to do with King... with Mr. Morooka?"

She smacked the table with her palm. "You never had any idea how I felt when Mr. Morooka died, Yosuke. You thought this... this!" She stood up and indicated her clothing while shaking in anger. "You thought this was about attention and control and me being a delinquent, but it was the only way I found to, to cope."

She slumped back down into her seat, the anger fading.

Yosuke blinked at her several times. "You... you never told me," he said in a small voice.

She stared at him with dead eyes.

His voice grew higher. "You never talked to me! How was I supposed to know? I don't... I can't... you're you, Nanako. Bossy, obnoxious, strong..." he trailed off.

She finished it for him: "A terrible friend."

Now Yosuke slammed a fist on the table, making far more noise than she did.

"No!" he shouted, so loudly that it startled her more than his hitting the table. "I mean, sometimes..." he continued in a more normal tone of voice. "Sometimes it's hard figuring you out, but you helped me too, you helped all of us. Do you think I'd have gone with you that night if, if I hated you or something?"

"Yosuke," she said, not looking at him, "think about the pain I put you all through. Mr. Morooka died and I wanted my revenge, and I forgot all about you. I k-killed Teddie." She choked up saying the bear's name.

"...But you won't say you're sorry," Yosuke said suddenly.

She blinked away the wetness in her eyes as the anger returned. "How can I be sorry? How would me being sorry change anything? I fucked up, and that's that! I fucked up because I'm me! How can I be sorry for being me?!"

She was breathing heavily now. "My being sorry... won't bring Teddie back."

Yosuke sat down, crossed his arms, and looked away.

The awkward silence returned. The rain drizzling on the canopy wasn't very loud, not in comparison to how it would be at the gas station's awning, but it was louder than anything else in the area.

"That punch hurt," he said.

"You deserved it."

The silence returned.

Then, Yosuke asked quietly, "Do you... do you regret anything?"

Nanako looked out at the rain. "I regret everything."

"If you wanted revenge on that Kubo kid, why did you send us after him that night?"

"I'd have killed him. I'd do it right now, if he was here." She thought about it for a moment. "But I guess on some level, I knew I'd die." She quirked her mouth. "I won't apologize to you, Yosuke, not for... not for that... but I do want to thank you."

"What?"

"If it wasn't for you, I'd have died. You called everyone and helped me break into Junes and risked everything because I wasn't listening to you, so... thank you."

He huffed. "Didn't you just finish saying how I deserved that punch?"

"Yeah well, a guy like you deserves all the punches he gets."

He glared at her, and then she grinned, and he chuckled. No, it was more of a giggle than a chuckle, really.

"W-well, I won't apologize to you either," he said. "But..."

"But?"

"I missed you."

Nanako canted her head to the side and stared.

"I missed you and everyone else," he further explained. "I was here in Inaba before you, but it felt like they were your friends, not mine. It was awful, not having anyone to talk to. All summer, all I did was work and practice with my guitar."

At least you have something to show for it, Nanako thought.

Yosuke blinked down at the table. "That and..." he trailed off.

When he didn't continue, Nanako prompted, "Yeah?"

"Yu."

Nanako blinked herself and made a 'go on' gesture.

"I was heading home from work one day," he explained, "when he ran up to me. He was going home from cram school with some chubby kid, and... he asked me why I didn't go to the beach with everyone."

Yosuke sighed after that and looked, unseeing, up at the canopy.

"That kid..." he went on quietly. "He was worried about me because he hadn't seen me in a while."

'A while.' That was an understatement. Nanako didn't attempt to calculate how long it must have been.

"We didn't get to talk much," he said. "That chubby kid's mom demanded to know who I was, and, uh, I didn't really want to deal with that. After my shift, I'd had enough of her type for the day. But anyway, imagine this: a few days later, I'm sitting in front of Souzai Daigaku, listening to music. My eyes are closed, and suddenly there's something tugging my hand, and I look and it's Yu again. I stare at him and then he's offering me this piece of warabimochi he'd been given."

Yu is too precious, Nanako thought as she smiled while simultaneously biting her lower lip. 'You can be friends with anyone,' she'd told him, and she didn't regret it, but the fact that all this had happened without her knowing made her feel...

It made her feel like Aunt Narukami, she realized, biting down harder and drawing blood. Not knowing what Yu was up to, even though he was only six years old. Not knowing what Yu was up to, despite making an effort to know. Of course he'd seen his... he'd seen Yosuke around the town, and of course he'd offered his best to him.

What was it that Nanako had thought, back at the flood plain? That she couldn't expect Yosuke to just hang out with her little cousin when they weren't even speaking? Yosuke was definitely a better person than she was. She only wondered whether he'd said anything to the boy about their falling out.

"He thought I looked hungry," he continued, oblivious to her thoughts.

Nanako was raising a hand to clean the blood before Yosuke could notice, when suddenly lightning struck, taking the entire food court into a blinding flash. During that brief moment, she thought she'd seen something on his face.

...Tears?

Nanako blinked and looked again, but Yosuke seemed perfectly fine. Must have been her imagination.

"I'm glad you didn't push him away," Nanako said, deciding that she ought to say something. "I wasn't sure what you'd think, when he asked me whether he could hang out with you, and I definitely didn't want you to think I was pawning him onto you or something, but I also didn't want to ask."

"Why?" Yosuke asked.

"I promised not to," she replied.

Understanding dawned on his face.

A few moments later, he glanced down at the table, idly running a finger over its surface. "...We talked a few more times after that. I guess we just kept crossing paths? When you get right down to it, everything you need in Inaba is either here or at the shopping district."

Although that was true, Nanako wondered why she hadn't run into Yosuke herself.

Then again, she hadn't been seeking him, as apparently Yu had.

"You should bring him here again," Yosuke suggested. "I wonder if he'll still be afraid of the slide."

"Yeah, I should," she muttered.

Except the exact reason she hadn't brought Yu to Junes was the chance that they'd run into Yosuke there. She sighed, because now it turned out that wasn't even a problem and she was still very much conflicted about it.

"I'll buy him another root beer float," Yosuke added.

She turned a sharp look on him. "You don't have to do that."

"It's not a big deal. I get a discount, remember?"

Nanako remembered; a sudden breeze made the rain reach her back.

"Besides, he's already running up a tab. I bought him a steak croquette. He thought I looked hungry, but I thought he looked hungry. He's a skinny kid, or maybe he looks that way compared to that friend of his."

Speak for yourself, Nanako wanted to say, for Yosuke was a bit of a reed himself, but her heart wasn't in it.

"Hey, Nanako," he said suddenly, his tone just different enough that she knew he was changing subjects. "Do you remember that night I called you out to the shopping district? It was right after I got my Persona."

"Yeah, we talked about Chie's Shadow. Why?"

"It was the first time you really helped me. Well, I mean, aside from when I was arrested. It was the first time you helped me on an emotional level, I suppose."

She vaguely recalled how his Shadow had given him a lot of doubts that she'd dispelled that night. Though in hindsight, his Shadow and his problems were nothing if not small time. It had only picked up on the insecurities he had been aware of himself—being useless to the team and being left behind and wanting his life to be exciting. The way he treated girls, or his thoughts about people who were different, like Kanji or even Nanako herself... They hadn't turned up, because they weren't problems to him.

Nanako feared the day she ever faced her Shadow. It would have a lot to say, and none of it pretty.

She tugged at the scarf in her hair in agitation. At least the wind had calmed and her back was no longer getting rained on, though the uncomfortable chill it had brought still remained.

"Nanako, your scarf," Yosuke said abruptly. "Was it your idea to wear it like that?"

She paused to think it over, but she honestly couldn't remember, and told him so.

"Was it Saki-senpai?" he asked. "She always liked styling her own hair, so..."

He sounded too casual; Nanako could see right through him. Saki-senpai... that was the other thing Yosuke's Shadow had talked about. "Yosuke," she said, her voice even.

"Tell me, Nanako," he said. "Back then you said that Saki-senpai had a boyfriend. Did you lie to me?"

"No," she answered firmly. "Look, it's not really my place to tell you this, but since I think you need to hear it..." She sighed, then took a deep breath. "Saki-senpai was dating a college boy she'd met at a club in Okina, but after her brother died, he didn't really know how to deal with all that, and instead of trying to figure it all out, he just pretended he was busy with his classes so that he wouldn't have to talk to her. Eventually they just stopped talking altogether." She paused to let him mull that over. "She and I didn't get together until sometime after we rescued Kanji-kun. That's when she was ready to move on from him."

"Oh," he said.

She almost asked him a question then—do you still like Saki-senpai?—but she caught herself in time. She wouldn't break her promise.

"It's all right," he said, sounding resigned. "I'm not even sure if I liked her like that."

She waited for him to continue.

"I've had a lot of time to think," he said. "About everything, not just the stuff we've been through. Did you know that next month, I'll have lived in Inaba for a year?" He paused, blinking at her as if to make sure she was listening. "Saki-senpai is one of the first people I really connected with here. We met at the Culture Festival. She comforted me after I'd overheard some people talking shit about me and my family..."

It probably had been hard for him, at that—moving in the middle of the school term to a hick town where the locals thought Junes was a sign of the apocalypse.

Yosuke sighed. "Looking back, I totally misunderstood her intentions. My sixteen-year-old self's wishful thinking."

"We grow from these experiences," Nanako said. "Who knows, probably next year your eighteen-year-old self will think your seventeen-year-old self was a dumbass."

His eyes regarded her half-lidded, and his small smile appeared coy. "Probably," he agreed. "Anyway, I don't blame Saki-senpai at all or anything." He sighed again. "I just wish a lot of things had happened differently."

"Amen to that."

The rain continued to patter on the canopy in the ensuing silence.

Yosuke abruptly leaned forward in his seat. "I wanna be back on the team," he said. "Your 'promise' to me... Cancel it."

She regarded him carefully before answering. "Are you absolutely sure?"

"I can't just forget what we've been through together. I've tried, but it's not working." His coy smile returned, and he added, "Besides, someone's got to keep you in line."

"Yeah, Shirogane-san," she quipped automatically. She continued on a more serious note. "Things are going to be different. I've told Chie the same thing. We're going to take it slow and carefully in the TV World, and I won't keep secrets from the team anymore."

"You've really changed," he remarked. "I... I don't know if that's good or bad."

"Good, hopefully!" she said, following it with a sigh of her own. "My birthday's next month, y'know, and I know for sure my seventeen-year-old self is gonna think my current self is a dumbass."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," he told her, but he laughed anyway.

He uncrossed his arms and held out his hand across the table. Nanako stared at it for just a moment before placing her hand on it. They shook.

"Welcome to the team," she said, and he smiled at her. This time, she knew she wasn't imagining the tears in his eyes.

From: Nanako D.
To: Miyuki S.
Subject: Miyu-chan~~~~

Hey gurl, it's been a while! You haven't forgotten who this is, right? I know you'd never forget that night of passion under the stars we had~~

;)

Jokes aside, I just wanted you to know that I'm, well, I'm doing all right. I got into an accident and was in the hospital for a bit, but I'm fully recovered now so don't worry! The worst part is that it made me miss most of my summer break. But I still made time to go to the beach, hehe. I'm going to develop a healthy tan. Did you go to the summer festival? You'd better have pictures of everyone in kimono!

School starts up again tomorrow, can you believe it? I'm not ready, tbh. I barely put a dent into my homework. I'd ask you for answers, but I know we're in the same boat. Also different schools, but who cares, right? I bet you're learning about triangles and shit just the same.

Anyway, let the gang know that I'm thinking of them. I miss you all a lot, y'know? At times I really can't wait to be a third-year.

--

From: Nanako D.
To: Fujioka N.
Subject: Please leave my dad alone

Fu-kun, my dad didn't name you, but I know you're the one who went to the house and demanded to know where I was. I'm fine, I promise. You know I won't be back until March. I'm sorry I haven't been keeping in touch, and I really don't have a good excuse.

Truth is, I fucked up, and fucked up big. I got into a fight that I couldn't handle, and I ended up in the hospital. No no no, don't get on your motorcycle or anything—I'm fine, and there's no one you need to fight for me. It's difficult to explain, but I will tell you everything as soon as I get back. I don't know if you'll believe me—I know I wouldn't—but it's quite a story.

Keep an eye on my dad, okay? He pretends not to like you, but underneath it all, he does. I think he might be lonely.

--

From: Nanako D.
To: Hana S.
Subject: Love Love Love and Love Some More!

Hana-san,

How are you and Gin-chan doing? I haven't heard from you in a while, so I'm just assuming you're doing all right. Send me some photo booth pictures and pretend I'm there, please!

On my end, I wanted to tell you that I now have a girlfriend too! I don't think I've ever been in a relationship that felt this natural. Her name is Saki and she gets me, she really gets me, and you know how rare that is. Strangely, I don't have any pictures of her! I'll have to remedy that in the future. Oh, but look, I do have these babies...

It's Yu-kun, my adorable cousin! Do you see any family resemblance? I think it's in his nose.

But I know you aren't going to be distracted that easily. You saw right through my phony weekly emails, after all. Do you still want me to send them? I can make them less phony, maybe. Is 20% less phony enough?

.................

*sigh*

There's a lot more I need to say, but I can't find the words. Not now. I promise that when I get back, I'll tell you everything in person.

--

From: Nanako D.
To: Saeko T.

--

From: Nanako D.
To: Tamaizu N.

--

From: Nanako D.
To: Hiroko H.

--

From: Nanako D.
To: Tamaki U.

--

From: Nanako D.
To: Takayuki O.

--

From: Nanako D.
To: Nariaki I.

--

From: Nanako D.
To: Sukuro M., Moeko H., Kiyo H., Hidetoshi Y., Bussho H., Masahiko S., Chika M., Hir[...]