Burn My Regret Chapter 19 - Home
Apr. 16th, 2015 12:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
angevonYu glanced at Ken. The boy's eyes were on the white dog taking up his entire lap. He didn't seem too fazed by the long stretch limousine they were in. Nor did Koromaru. Maybe they were used to traveling in style.
The limo kept reminding Yu of the Velvet Room. It wasn't the Velvet Room—it was Mitsuru Kirijo's limo, and there wasn't any brandy—but he kept thinking of it, anyway. It was very high-tech. The maroon leather seats wrapped around a large computer terminal that was currently displaying an estimated time of arrival at forty-three minutes.
Probably just over an hour, then, until he'd see Nanako-chan again. The thought of her made him smile a bit to himself. He wondered how long her laundry list of 'things to do with big bro' had become since Culture Day. It probably spanned several pages now, front and back. He'd do his best to fulfill all of her wishes, even if it reminded Yosuke to call him "sister complex" again...
Mitsuru was seated at the other end of this 'room' in the limo, chatting with Aigis and Labrys about the Amagi Inn, where they planned to stay.
Yu had asked Ken if he'd like to come to Inaba with him to enjoy the winter holidays, and somehow it had led to Aigis asking him if Labrys would be welcome, too. Of course he'd agreed.
Labrys... He was relieved to see her again. Her 'upgrades' had finally been completed. Apparently during the time she was with the scientists, she had also been taught how to be more human, although her appearance was too robot-like for her to fool most people, even if her speech and mannerisms were spot-on. Well, almost spot-on—she'd retained that oddly-endearing dialect of hers.
Right now, Labrys seemed rather bashful. She wasn't all that talkative, and as the ETA ticked down, she seemed to get more and more nervous. She kept scratching at a vent port near her upper arm. "It's all right," Yu assured her. "Everyone will be happy to see you."
"Ya sure?" she asked. Her bright red eyes were troubled. "It's been a while since Golden Week..."
"I'm sure. Right, Ken-kun?"
The boy looked up from petting Koromaru. "Uh, Narukami-san... I have never met your friends."
"But you're my friend," Yu said. "And you like Labrys-san."
"Since I'm your friend... does that mean I'm strange, too?" Ken sighed. "I know all your friends are strange."
"You're wearing shorts in winter," Yu pointed out.
"That's hardly relevant." Ken faced the platinum-haired robot maiden. "Labrys-san, unfortunately, I've only met you today, but I don't think anyone would forget you, if that's what you're worried about. That would be like me forgetting Aigis-san. It can't happen."
Labrys's shoulders relaxed, her metal wings drooping a bit, and Aigis smiled at Ken in silent thanks.
Yu watched the snow-covered fields pass by outside the windows and recalled his very first trip to Inaba. He'd had visions of the Velvet Room on the train then and had attributed it to a dream caused by overtiredness and stress. He hadn't been looking forward to Inaba at all. Just another year of being shuffled off to family he had never met before. It was funny to think about it now. He'd never expected his life to change so much... to become so attached to his uncle and cousin.
The blanketed fields gave way to the first houses in Inaba's outskirts. Mere minutes later the limo was rumbling very conspicuously down the town's small central shopping district. As it passed the bookstore, Yu saw a familiar sight that had been missing during his last visit: the Velvet Room door. He blinked and glanced at Aigis. She caught his eyes. She had seen it too.
Soon the Samegawa river was in sight, and then they were at the Amagi Inn. Yu made sure Mitsuru and Aigis were taken care of by the inn's staff—Yukiko didn't seem to be there at the moment. He presumed that she was out with Chie.
Then he invited Ken and Labrys to go into town with him. It was a long walk, but after being cooped up in the limo for so long, everyone welcomed it, especially Koromaru, who bounded along excitedly, barking and sniffing at everyone and everything they came across.
During the walk, he took the opportunity to call Yosuke on his cell phone. He told him to gather everyone at Junes, since it was still the best place in town to meet at. He expected most of his friends to be free. They knew he was coming to Inaba today, just not exactly when. "You'd better be off work today," Yu said. "I have something for you."
"Y-yeah, I am, partner," Yosuke replied. "Uhh... What is it? Now I'm curious."
"Be there," Yu said. He hung up before his friend could pester him for an answer.
He didn't head straight to Junes, however. First he planned to stop at home. He had to drop off his duffel bag, for one.
"This is where you live?" Ken asked as they approached the Dojima residence. A striped tabby cat was lazing around in front, Yu was happy to see. He wondered if his habit of feeding strays had rubbed off on his cousin. Koromaru barked at it, but it didn't move.
"Yeah. It's my uncle's place," Yu said.
"Your family ain't gonna mind that I'm...?" Labrys queried.
"They won't," Yu said with confidence. He set his duffel bag down on the doorstep. Ken gave him a questioning look, but Yu ignored it and rang the doorbell.
From the house came a muffled, "Nanako, will you get that?" Soon the door opened to reveal his little cousin. The girl's hair was shoulder-length and she wore a pink and white dress. Her big brown eyes widened dramatically upon seeing the visitors. "Big bro!" she squealed and ran right into Yu's open arms.
If Yu saw Ken glare at him upon hearing the words "big bro," he chose to ignore it.
When Yu put the girl back down, he introduced his friends. "This is Ken-kun and Labrys-san. And... Koromaru!"
"Woof!" The shiba inu padded forward and Nanako-chan squealed again and gave him a big hug too.
"Behind his ears, right?" she asked. She began to scratch there and the dog let out a throaty rumble of happiness.
"And, uh, this is my cousin, Nanako-chan. She's eight."
Ken bowed formally, and Nanako seemed surprised. Labrys lifted one of her hands in a small wave.
Dojima stepped forward from where he'd been watching the scene unfold and introduced himself as Yu's uncle. "Nice dog. Bring your stuff in, make yourselves at home." He seemed resigned to playing host, but Yu could tell the police detective was happy.
Now would be a good time to bring up his little plan. After placing his duffel bag unceremoniously in the middle of the floor in his old room, Yu returned downstairs.
He found Dojima joking with Labrys. "If Yu's hair got any lighter, you could be siblings."
"And then Nanako-chan could have a big sis?" Yu said when Labrys seemed uncertain on how to reply.
Dojima scratched his head. "I don't have room for any more kids..."
"Actually, uncle, about that..."
The detective's eyes narrowed. "What now?" he asked softly.
"Could Ken-kun stay here for the break?" Yu asked.
"Narukami-san!" Ken exclaimed. He turned to Dojima and lowered his head in respect. "No, sir, I couldn't impose upon you. Besides, Labrys-san and our other friends are staying at the inn. I'm sure I can stay with them."
"Oh..." Yu didn't hide his disappointment. He was sure Ken and Nanako could become friends... Not to mention he wanted Koromaru to stay with him.
Dojima wiped his face and made a resigned sound. "Whatever the kid wants. Honestly, I don't mind, as long as you aren't inviting everyone to stay the night. I have a reputation to maintain, you know. 'Host to a bunch of teenagers' is not part of it."
"Well, we'll talk about it later," Yu said. "Uncle, we're going to Junes for a while..."
"Junes!?"
"Yes, Nanako-chan, you're coming, too."
The girl paused in brushing Koromaru to clap her hands together and sing the Junes tune. She became embarrassed when she realized everyone was looking at her. Yu eyed Ken and Labrys meaningfully. "Uh, it's definitely going to be great," Ken assured her, and Yu nodded. "Especially for Labrys-san," he promised. The robot shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other with several metallic creaks.
Yu held Nanako's hand the entire way to Junes—he didn't really have much choice. She wasn't going to let him go. When someone in the street eyed Labrys with suspicion, Yu grabbed Labrys's hand with his free hand. It took her by complete surprise, but she seemed to be reassured by his touch. Now, if only he could get Ken to take Nanako's other hand, or something, Yu thought while Nanako-chan chatted about her friends at school.
After riding the elevator in Junes, they entered the food court. The majority of the Investigation Team was already there: Chie in her typical green jacket—she was wearing shorts, maybe Ken wasn't alone—next to Yukiko in a crimson dress. Naoto was dressed warmly in her deep blue double-breasted cardigan coat. Yu assumed she was also wearing her green and blue plaid pants, but he couldn't say for sure because she was sitting on the far side of the table. Teddie was wearing some frilly lacy thing made of cheap, thin material—luckily he seemed to have an immunity to cold. Kanji had his school jacket draped over his shoulders, as usual, and he was so intent on his knitting that he didn't realize Yu had arrived.
"Yu-kun!"
"Sensei! Nana-chan!"
"Labrys-san!?"
The last was Yosuke, who was bringing a couple of drinks to the table. He'd stopped in his tracks to stare dumbly at the robot girl.
"I told you," Yu said. He allowed himself a smug expression.
"H...hi," said Labrys.
Yu attempted to push the robot girl towards Yosuke, but it was quite impossible due to the strength of her metal frame. She seemed to get the idea anyway and stepped forward.
Yu woke up early in the morning. He tiptoed past Ken who was sound asleep on the spare futon in his room. Koromaru was downstairs in Nanako-chan's room. He didn't want to wake anyone.
Yesterday had been a great day, minus the long ride. Yu was surprised at how well Ken got along with his friends, but maybe he shouldn't have. The boy had been prepared since Yu had told him almost everything that had happened in Inaba, so he understood a lot of their reminiscing, and despite the boy's formality, he had a good sense of humor.
They had some things in common as well: upon seeing Labrys, Chie had asked about Akihiko, and Ken piped up since he knew the man. From there it became a nice long discussion about Akihiko's training regimen when he had been in SEES. "He was obsessed with protein back then too?" "Yes, yes he was."
The happiness of the reunion staved off Yu's melancholy until he finally had some time alone. This morning his memories and nostalgia were weighing on him heavily. Now that he'd solved the Apathy Syndrome mystery, there was something he had to do.
He was just planning to make some toast for himself before he went out—hopefully he'd return in time to make a proper breakfast for Ken and Nanako—when he was interrupted.
"Huh? You're up early. Thought you'd be out for another couple of hours, at least."
Yu looked up from buttering a slice of toast. "Oh... uncle. Would you like some toast, too?"
"You always were diligent," Dojima muttered, mostly to himself. "Yeah, sure. I'll make us some coffee."
Yu wasn't exactly in the mood to talk, although he recognized that this would be the perfect time to catch up with his uncle. Still, he didn't know how to start the conversation so he contented himself with putting another couple slices of bread into the toaster.
After starting up the coffee maker, Dojima sat comfortably at the kitchen table. "So," Dojima said conversationally. "Gekkoukan High, huh? Down in Tatsumi Port Island. I thought you were going to Yago... something."
Yu paused for a very long moment. "A better opportunity presented itself," he said. His words were clipped and dry.
"So I heard. Yu. I called your mother after Culture Day." Yu stiffened. "I was just... curious that you keep visiting here for all your holidays. Don't misunderstand—I enjoy having you over. But it seemed odd to me that she and your pop never come to visit, too."
The butter on the toast that Yu was holding had melted and began to drip onto the counter. Contemplating a response, Yu didn't notice.
"I'm a selfish son," he finally said. He set down the toast and began to use the butter knife to cut off the crust with jerky motions. "I... I know they love me, but they don't know me. And... they don't really listen..."
"Yu... Back in March, I tried to convince them to let you stay here another year."
Yu looked up and blinked at his uncle in surprise.
The detective nodded. "Yeah. I tried. Didn't work," – he spread his hands in a shrug – "but I tried."
"Thank you," Yu said simply.
"You're family, kid. I've told you before... Don't believe me?"
"I... I do..."
"If Nanako heard your voice like that, she'd think we're fighting again!" The detective chuckled. "But Yu... You know what? I'm glad you're taking responsibility for your life. Ah, look at me. I didn't mean to preach at you, and the coffee's ready."
The conversation died down as Dojima poured the coffee into their family mugs. Yu handed him a plate of toast and they ate in amicable silence.
Yu saw Dojima off, and then readied himself to leave. He wasn't far down the road before Koromaru suddenly ran up to him. He frowned at the dog. He shouldn't be out, he should be with Nanako-chan...
"Narukami-san!" Ken called from behind. "Good morning."
"Ah, good morning, Ken-ch—Ken-kun." Yu tried not to look unhappy to see them. He'd planned to go alone. Maybe the kid was used to getting up early.
"What are we going to do today? Nanako-chan said something about ice skating somewhere...?"
"Oh, at Okina City? We could probably do that," Yu agreed. "However, it'll be later. I was going to... umm..."
"Is something wrong, Narukami-san?"
'You neglected to tell Amada about Konishi,' Margaret had said. Yu bit his lower lip and then nodded. "I was going to visit an old friend. A Shadow killed him last summer."
The boy blinked his brown eyes. "Oh, I'm sorry... And here I am thinking about what fun we're going to have..."
"It's all right. You're welcome to come with—or you can go back and give Nanako-chan company while I'm gone. I shouldn't be too long."
Ken looked down at his clothes. He was wearing an orange jacket and shorts. "I'm not really dressed for it, but I would like to come with."
"He won't mind," Yu told him.
The Konishi family grave was well-tended. White flowers perhaps a few days old were already present at the memorial stone. The Konishi family may have moved out of Inaba, but maybe they were not too far away. Yu brushed away some dirt and snow that had piled onto the stone's base and then placed incense before it.
He offered a prayer, but he didn't know who or what to direct it to. Having met a couple of goddesses in his lifetime, he was quite conflicted, and the act of prayer didn't comfort him at all. Usually going through the motions helped, but not this time.
In fact, quite the opposite was happening.
"...My fault... they're dead..." he muttered.
"Narukami-san?"
Yu clenched his fist. "If I'd been smarter, if I'd figured it out sooner, I could have saved Saki..."
"Umm..."
"And Naoki... Damn it...!"
"Narukami-san!"
Yu was good at bottling up his emotions. He'd become an expert while growing up. Anything that could bring on tears was especially held within. Crying had never done anything for him. It had never changed his situation, and only made his mother scold him further.
He hadn't even cried when he thought that Nanako-chan had died last year. He'd immediately buried the face of reality so far down within him... He didn't even turn it into righteous anger like Yosuke had... He'd simply turned stone dead inside.
He had complained to Mitsuru-san that he wasn't being allowed to grieve for Naoki, but his complaint had been misdirected. He'd been the one to push away the grief. He'd been angry for a bit, but it hadn't lasted. He hadn't forgotten the grief, it was just buried.
And it was coming out now.
His fingernails dug into his palms, and he sniffled, and then he started sobbing. Short sobs, and then full-on bawling...
He let it all out. Grief, sadness, fear, regrets, even some anger and happiness. It wasn't limited to Saki and Naoki now. Dozens of things that he'd wanted to cry about...
The battle with Izanami, his friends dying one by one before his eyes as the goddess looked on with cruel, unfeeling eyes...
Nanako-chan, that tiny child's body in that oversized hospital bed, hooked up to that breathing machine, her heartbeat flat-lining while he held her hand. 'Big bro is here... Please be strong...'
Old lady Hisano, calling herself 'Death'...
Yumi Ozawa's father, also dying in a hospital bed...
Marie's desire to stop living altogether...
Dojima-san's trust in him to save Nanako-chan when she'd been kidnapped... That he considered Yu part of his close family and asked his parents to let him stay...
Hell, even Adachi... Yu had trusted that bastard—the betrayal had hurt...
And... and... that great Seal, Minato Arisato...
When Yu finally cried himself out, he found Ken patting him on the back. There were tears in the boy's eyes, too; his grief must have rubbed off on him. "Th-thanks, Ken-kun," Yu managed. "I'm better now." He wiped his eyes and sniffled.
"Sometimes you just need a good cry," Ken said with a helpless little smile.
The unshed tears in Ken's eyes were just waiting to be released. Yu knelt and pulled Ken to him in a tight embrace. The boy didn't resist, and soon his tears were wetting Yu's shirt. Yu rubbed his back, and the boy's body jerked because he was trying to muffle his sobs. Yu just held him tighter. It seemed to him that maybe the boy didn't have anyone to be there for him like this.
He heard a whine nearby, and then Koromaru was there, too, pushing up against his side. He made room for the dog to let him snuggle in between him and Ken.
Maybe it would take them longer than he'd planned to return home.
THE END
[Ending Notes: Hello, and thank you for reading all the way until the end! I wanted to write chapter notes for every chapter, but I honestly find them immersion-breaking in other stories, so I'm just going to put all of the more important closing comments here on the last chapter.
The story's title, Burn My Regret, is a reference to the Persona 3 theme song, Burn My Dread. There's a line in the song referring to 'burning regret' and that's, well, the essence of the story! Chapter Sixteen's title, Far in Mist, also comes from that song.
'Adjustment' is the Thoth tarot deck version of 'Justice.' Since Ken was Justice in P3P for the female main character and Yu already has a Justice link with Nanako, I decided to use that. The Thoth deck is also where 'Aeon' comes from (it replaces 'Judgment'), so it's sort of canon.
We don't know Kenji Tomochika's sister's name. I used 'Keiko' because I like it and thought that a name starting with 'K' would be appropriate. She would be a third year, so it's not too much of a stretch that she'd be in Yu's class at Gekkoukan. We don't know anything about her personality except that Kenji thinks she is annoying, so her personality is all made up.
The funny thing is I wrote all the Ken and Koromaru scenes before they were revealed as playable characters in P4U. I'm glad his character still fits, but I had to delay his puberty because bishounen Ken would make things a bit weird.
I knew that Maiko was an elementary school student in P3 just like Ken, but I didn't realize she was three years or so younger than Ken until after I'd written the scenes with her. Her age stretches the believability that they'd be friends, but I think it's a minor detail that can be ignored.
I really like Ms. Toriumi, and I was playing Persona 2: Eternal Punishment while I wrote this, thus I thought maybe she found a Katsuya since her Tatsuya is, well, inaccessible (
The whale in the movie 'Free Willy' was named Keiko, so that's why Haruka made that comment about whales. Not sure if a Japanese high schooler would know that, but whatever! Ah, I'm obviously a child of the 90s...
In case you were wondering about the social links who weren't mentioned (Bebe, the monk, Hidetoshi, etc.), I decided that not everyone is still living in or around Tatsumi Port Island. They caught Apathy Syndrome, too—they just live elsewhere so no one knew about it. The story already has enough build-up without taking time to go through all the links, right?
Someone asked where Junpei is. Well, I don't know. I couldn't find a role for him in the story, so I didn't include him, haha. He's too busy coaching kids about baseball to worry about Shadows, I guess! Same goes for Akihiko—just assume he's on another journey somewhere for his all-important training!
I had a lot of fun writing this story, but it was also exhausting. I'm not sure whether we'll see more. Hey, Yu only has a few more months until graduation... What more could possibly happen...?
...Maybe Ultimax will inspire me!
If you have any questions about the story, feel free to PM me and I'll be sure to respond. I'll try to respond to comments/reviews, too! Well, thank you again for reading!]
Previous - Index - Next
